At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
