hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
