pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i dont even know how to be here
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
