I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
