YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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