so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
