i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
