I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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