she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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