Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sorry my hands just texted you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
