so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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