I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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