Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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