I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
