Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
