Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
