well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
