if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
