my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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