College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
