my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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