Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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