I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
