it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
