Buhtt sex?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
