Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
