singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
