if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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