Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize