does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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