i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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