it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
