doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
