I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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