it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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