I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
