I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
