i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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