some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
