Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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