i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My ATM looks so different sober.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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