I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
