just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
