my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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