Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
