I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
