Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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