What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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