so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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