Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize