I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
