I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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