You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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