She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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