yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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