so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
