he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
