Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sobbing to NWA
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
