Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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