what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
