i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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