hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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