I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
