Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
