its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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