PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize