you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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