She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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