using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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