I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
