i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
