I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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