It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
