It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
