Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
