I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
