everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
