woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
