everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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