apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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